The Adventures of Bear and Butterfly

Well, looking out the window you certainly do not sense it is Summer.  The trees have been swaying in the wind almost continually for the past few weeks.  I hang the washing out with some trepidation as grey clouds loom overhead.  It’s a much greater risk these days, as should it start to rain, I may be too tied up with Faeryn to rescue the laundry!  Although in saying this, Monday is set to be one of the hottest days yet at 32 degrees.

Bo and I have the utmost respect for single parents.  Nearly four months into it and still parenthood feels like the greatest challenge life has to offer- we only have one baby too!  I have no idea how my sister Michelle managed to raise her young boys, pretty much on her own, with family support too far away to be of any real help.  Michelle- you have our deepest admiration!

At this point we both can agree that Faeryn could not exactly be described as an easy-going baby.  Sometimes it feels like it is just getting harder and harder, you overcome one obstacle and another flairs up.  Firstly it was trying to get Faeryn to nurse from me, then stressing about her weight gain, then trying to get her to sleep better.  Right now it is colic and I’m sure once that is sussed it will be teething! Faeryn is not much of a burper, and we celebrate her burps and farts with much excitement.  We had her on Infacol, and now Gripe Water (thanks Olga!) which helps her to fart and burp I think (or they’re just way more audible now). It would be wonderful if babies were built with a wind release button!

On Thursday we saw a Craniosacral Therapist who specialises in treating babies with colic.  We really hoped it would be the solution, but the session left us feeling heavy and doubtful.  Faeryn gave a pretty good performance with her wailing and demonstrating her frustration (possibly because she had a wet nappy and was hungry).  The therapist picked up on some of her body language.  Faeryn forcefully strikes her belly with her left hand, possibly in the area where she is feeling the trapped gas, and when she started doing this in the session, the therapist pressed down on that area, and suggested we do the same.  Faeryn also demonstrated her foot-swiping.  I thought she was doing this because her skin is quite irritated there- she also rubs behind her knees where the skin is particularly raw.  The therapist offered a pretty fluffy explanation for this foot-swiping, saying that when I was pregnant, I went through something traumatic (the pathetic resolution to ‘Lost’?).  A Foetus will repel emotional upsets by pushing it back down into the umbilical cord, and Faeryn is still doing this with her foot-swiping… so what we can do is give her some resistance by pressing back into her feet.

The main thing we took from the session is that when Faeryn goes into her distressed mode, we need to give her space to expel it (let her cry it out?) whilst working with giving her the resistance.  The therapist also indicated that she is carrying a lot of distress, so who knows how long this would go on for.  As Bo and I walked away from the session, I felt quite burdened and Bo felt disappointed.  Now we just think “Poppycock!”  He didn’t address the colic in any way so we’ll just keep going with the Gripe Water.  We will of course implement the resistance thing and see how she responds.

It’s very heart-wrenching seeing Fae in so much pain with the trapped wind, and your mind races with all the things you’ve read, trying all the different techniques to move the wind for her. Bo has been absolutely brilliant with his research and willingness to try anything, he massages her and gives her leg exercises every evening, pushing her legs into her belly.  Maybe the Gripe Water will prove to be all we need.

But enough about me and my self-development.  A week or so ago Faeryn started holding her fist in the air like Superman, and now it is both fists so she looks like she wants to drive.  It is wonderful watching the changes happen.  Faeryn shows she has developed a lot of strength in her neck as she holds her head beautifully.  We give her as much tummy-time as she can handle and she has gone from completely opposing tummy-time to looking quite comfortable with it, lifting her head and looking from side to side.  She seems to be making connections with how she can move her body depending on where her hands are placed, so I’m sure it won’t be long before she is ready to roll over.

Last Sunday Faeryn had her very first swim lesson.  She seemed to be curious about the environment and activity, taking it all in with a relatively willing attitude.  Bodra did a great job with her in the pool as she remained quite calm until the end, where she may have been feeling the cold.  The water wasn’t particularly warm but the room was heated up.  Faeryn appeared to have no real issue with lying on her chest in the water, but she was a bit uptight with lying on her back.  Faeryn will have nine more sessions and then we will see how things go.  You can watch her Baby Splash action via the movies and the pics.

So, I finished the last blog entry the day before Carolyn left.  Faeryn has since had many visitors!  Maria visited again and Nik, Dawn, Kim and Ezra visited us the weekend after Carolyn left.  (Bo watched the Crusaders vs Sharks game at Twickenham stadium on March 27th, with proceeds from the tickets going towards Red Cross fundraising for the Christchurch earthquake appeal.)  Our friends Dan and Liz gave birth to their son Hunter Joseph Kerr on my birthday and a couple days later, Mum and Dad arrived.  We were only expecting my Mum so it was a wonderful surprise when I answered the door to find my Daddy there!  Mum and Dad’s friends, Pat and Mary Taylor, gifted Dad his airfare, as well as some spending money and even put Jimi (Mum and Dad’s dog) in a farm stay near Bethells Beach.

We really enjoyed their visit, it was so lovely sharing Faeryn with them and having all their support.  They both gave us a big hand all over the house and with our garden- we’ve gotten rid of our vegie patch as I just don’t see how we will have time to care for vegies this year.  And to be honest, after our attempt last year was mostly thwarted by nature, Bo and I just don’t fancy investing any time there.

So whilst Mum and Dad visited we mostly stayed at home- I was still very much in the mode of recovery and regaining strength, and they do say you should treat the first three months with you baby like it is the fourth trimester- keep them cuddled up close to you and don’t do too much!  We ventured out to the pub a couple times, going for a walk along the river to the nearby Cunning Man in Burghfield and The Griffin in Caversham.  At the end of Mum and Dad’s first week here, our friend Jo gave birth to her second son, Jacob John Bostandji, on Jo’s birthday- April 15th.  Lauren also came for a visit.

Bo went to Madrid for work in their second week, and Dewi took us to Hungerford for a browse around the antique stores.  Mum and I went to Oxford one evening to catch Derren Brown’s latest performance, Svengali, which was quite impressive!

During their last week, Suzanne and Stephen visited from March, as well as Jenny and her daughter-in-law from Guildford.  We also managed a small trip down to Hailsham to visit family friends May and Arthur, stopping at Beachy Head for a quick peek in the blustery wind!  On their last day Mum and Dad went into London to see the “We Will Rock You” show, which they highly recommended.

Mum and Dad began their journey home the day before the Royal Wedding of Kate and Will.  Faeryn and I joined Dewi at her home for a special lunch to watch the wedding.  Faeryn spent all the time nursing and sleeping and didn’t give a hoot for Kate’s dress.

Paul visited us on the first Sunday of May and took us out to Swallowfield to the George and the Dragon pub for lunch which was a lovely treat.  It seems like Paul has such a natural ability with babies- Faeryn showed she is very comfortable when receiving his attention.

In early May Faeryn had her first lot of immunisations which she took pretty well with no real after effects.  We then joined the Little Ducklings group at the Katesgrove Children’s Centre, where parents and their wee tots sing songs and learn baby signs.  Sadly the funding for the baby signs aspect ran out and now it’s just singing, but it will still be worthwhile attending so Faeryn can interact with other bubbies.  I managed to strike up a friendship with one of the other mothers (Anna) who lives very close to us, and we’ve been over to each others house for tea, chat and a chance for our girls to interact.  Emma is a couple months older than Faeryn so I’m quite fascinated by her, seeing how she is developing as a guide to what Faeryn will be like with time.  Emma has really warm smiles and super sparkly eyes which convey so much emotion.  They visited yesterday and as they lay on the play mat together it seemed like Emma reached out her hand to Faeryn, but Faeryn was more focused on her mobiles (like in this video).  I hope to see more of both Anna and Emma.

Last Monday I had my final session in the New Parent Group, where I have learnt about play and development, baby massage, sleep routines and approaches to weaning.  I might join the group again so I can repeat the baby massage part- Faeryn responded so well to it but unfortunately my memory can not recall the positions we used.

In the second week of May Bo journeyed to Abu Dhabi for work- ”It was hot.”  He didn’t get much chance to experience the place due to being so busy with the clients (like usual).

We had our first adventure as a family on the third weekend of May.  Of course, we went out for food, a delicious lunch at Bill’s, our new favourite cafe.  Afterwards we wandered along the River Thames where we were blown about and spotted Spring creatures.

We had a few more visits from friends in May.  Kim and Ezra visited on the first weekend of May, and Dewi also popped by.  We made a special delicious chocolate cake for the visit, in the shape of a butterfly!  Ez and Kim had gifted me some fantastic baking tools for my birthday- a butterfly shaped cake mould and animal shaped cookie cutters- and it was great having an excuse to use them.  Lauren and Adam stopped by when Bo got back from his work trip to Abu Dhabi, and at the end of May, Russell and Alanna came out to Reading to visit Faeryn.  We hadn’t seen them since the Baby Shower so it was great being able to catch up.  Rachael, Paul and Bump visited on the Spring Bank Holiday where it rained and for some odd reason (empty cupboards) we decided to walk down to the supermarket to pick up lunch items.  I think Rachael had about nine weeks to go at that point, and I enjoyed walking with her, feeling super protective of her and Bump.

On the 31st of May our friend Sally gave birth to her twins Ella and Oscar, both just under 6lbs and all healthy.  I haven’t met them yet but they certainly take gorgeous photos!

Faeryn had her second lot of immunisations at the beginning of June.  This time things were a little different- Faeryn had a longer than usual nap that afternoon and when she woke she felt warmer.  I checked her temperature which appeared to be normal, so perhaps it was just a case of New Mum Paranoia.  It will be interesting to see how she fares from her last lot of immunisations in July.

Bo, Faeryn and I ventured to Windsor for the first weekend of June.  I had a hankering for fudge from the Fudge Kitchen, and we also wanted to test Faeryn on the train.  It was a super hot day and the train did not have air conditioning, so both Bo and I sweated whilst Faeryn slept.

We got out to Windsor and enjoyed lunch at GBK, then went for a walk along the Long Walk.  I guess it was a bit too much for Faeryn as she was quite up and down emotionally.  She didn’t like being in the pram either so Bo carried her some of the time… she really does have us wrapped around her itty bitty fingers!

The following weekend we all went to London for Rachael’s baby shower and Paul’s wetting the babies head.  This was the first time I’d been into London since last year.  Both Bo and I were in an awesome state of delirium- Bo had just returned from Jubail that morning and I hadn’t had much sleep whilst he’d been away, but we were both pleased we made the effort- bus, train, tubes, bus and walk (repeat).  The area Paul, Rachael and Bump live in, Crouch Hill, is pretty special.  We stepped off the bus and both remarked on how the air smelt- really fresh and enlivening!  The homes we walked past are full of character with sprawling front gardens and tall trees.

It was great seeing all the ladies at Rach’s, and I was able to witness Rach’s belly cast being created- Kim and Kaaren did a great job covering Bump in the plaster bandages, I look forward to seeing the finished work.  I couldn’t help out as Faeryn kept me pretty tied-up- nursing, soothing, trying to put to sleep, re-soothing, soothing again… gah!!  As Rach’s profession is being a Nanny, a couple of the ladies there are also Nannies, and they all recommended we give Infacol a try, so on our way home when Bo and I reached Paddington we picked some up from Boots.  Anna had also recommended it, and Mum said she had shares in the Infacol company when I was a baby.

In the middle of June Dewi took Faeryn and I out to Grey’s Court, a National Trust estate near Henley.  We started off with a lovely lunch- I had a smoked salmon tart (yes, I’m totally eating fish again- damn you Bill’s and your delicious fish finger sandwich!) and then went for a walk around the grounds.  Sadly our afternoon amble was cut short as I stumbled into a hole in the ground and sprained my ankle.  I had been carrying Faeryn on my front so I got quite a fright at the thought that I could’ve hurt her in my carelessness.  Luckily the sprain healed up nicely- it’s still a little tender, but with a bit of rest I’m right as rain… (what is so right about rain??)  Olga visited the following day and gifted us with the Gripe Water.  She’s due with her second girl at the end of this month, so we’re eagerly awaiting news!

So that’s pretty much all of us caught up now.  Bo is on paid time off now for the next two weeks.  On Monday we’ll be driving to Manchester and staying in a hotel for the night, all so that I can see Bjork.  She is doing a show called Biophilia at the Manchester International Festival and lucky me I will be seeing the very first performance in the world!!!  I’m going on my own which is something I’ve never done before and I’m ever so thrilled.  On Tuesday morning we’ll drive to Stockport to check out the cemetery again and try to find Jessica Lowe’s headstone for Mum.  We’ll be back in Reading on Tuesday evening, and then on Thursday we’ll be adventuring with Kim and Ezra to Scotland, returning the following Monday.  We have two nights in Edinburgh and two nights in Newtonmore, in the Cairngorms.  Whilst in Scotland we’ll be going to the Go Ape centre in Aberfoyle where Kim, Ezra and Bodra will enjoy two over 400m long zip wires.  I’ll be carrying Faeryn along a trail through Queen Elizabeth Forest Park, sharing nature with her.  Not quite as adrenaline pumping as flying through the forest, but it will be great to have some time surrounded by trees.

Well, I hope this entry was worth reading!  It certainly was fun adding all the pics of Faeryn- isn’t she a cutie-pie and hasn’t she grown so much already!  I hope all is wonderful, wherever you are!  May you always be well, may you be filled with peace and may you feel loved!

Aloha again and Festive Greetings to you all!   We hope 2011 brings you and your loved ones much peace, love and happiness!

I’ve been waking up around 4am most mornings- we go to bed pretty early so it’s not too terrible, but I find I am so uncomfortable in bed now so the sleep is mostly restless. I guess it’s all in preparation for those night feeds. 32 weeks and 6 days today, and I really feel like I have no more room for Faeryn to grow- surely my insides will start to ooze out of my belly button? It certainly feels like things are backing up in my body, there is a constant presence of bile in the back of my throat (hope that’s not TMI?). I guess it’s time to take another look at the Ayurvedic diet in pregnancy and eliminate more food. I haven’t had a banana in a long time and rarely eat capsicum now. I think I need to stop drinking fruit juice, but at the moment I feel like I get a lot of energy from that kind of syrup.

Anyway- the catch-up. After Ozora and Hungary, Bo and I had a short and sweet trip to Croatia. Our friends, Danijel and Inas, were visiting Danijel’s relatives with their daughter Violetta, so we arranged to meet up with them for a few days. Russell and Alanna were also there. Bo and I had probably the earliest flight out which I’d ever been on (check-in opening at 4am), and once arriving in Split we then had a long bus journey to Zadar and Vir. We all stayed together at a family friend of Danijel’s so it was a fairly stress-less trip. Each day we went down to the ocean for a swim and spent most of the day sitting in the shade, eating, chatting, relaxing and enjoying interacting with Violetta. I had an essay due the following Monday so I got in some study time too.

In early September I had my last assignment with Guardian Angels. I forgot to mention this experience- at the end of July I signed up to look after dogs in our home whilst their owners were on holidays. A far from lucrative employment at £7 per day, but everyone knows how much I love being around dogs. We looked after two very cute Terriers first of all, Betty and Ronnie, two dogs who had no idea how to walk on the lead. As they are quite small it didn’t take much effort to keep then under control, and thus I’m now a fan of the wee breeds!

When we came back from Ozora we looked after Nutley, the dopey Chocolate Labrador who had a fetish for humping his bed. As long as it wasn’t our leg, we didn’t find this troubling at all.

Our third assignment was with a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel named Cheerful. She is a pretty dippy dog, only really interested in affection and dozing, rather skittish on the lead. I would never own this breed as she proved to be a horrendous snorer- despite being upstairs and leaving Cheerful downstairs, we could still hear her. She was with us for nearly an entire week and we were quite pleased to hand her back to her owner.

Lastly, on Bodra’s birthday I was gifted Tuckers, a German Short Hair Pointer. The most intelligent dog I have ever had the pleasure of walking. I had him off the leash pretty quickly and he didn’t stray from me, bringing the stick back instantly. Quite a slinky breed- despite his size he would curl up so small on the couch (yes, it didn’t take long for him to crush my pack-leader mode with his gooey eyes and earnestness). I was quite amused when he surprised me by nonchalantly getting up onto my lap when I was sitting at the dining table studying (no food involved). Just why he thought there was enough room for him there, I’ll never know! I was a little bit disconcerted as there’s a baby in my belly, but there didn’t appear to be any problem. I’d be very keen to get a dog of his breed one day- it’s so fulfilling when you can really develop a dog to flawlessly interact with you.

For Bodra’s 31st birthday Paul took him to a Football game at Wembley- England v Bulgaria. They had quite poor luck as they missed the first goal whilst sorting out their tickets, and then when the end of the game drew near they decided to leave- just as their backs were turned they missed the second goal.

Bodra: Missing the first goal was the most disappointing as it was right in front of where our seats were. Actually we saw the second goal, but it was in the second half and right down the other end of the field. With about 5 minutes left we decided to get a head start on the crowd and leave for the station. In the time it took us to get outside England scored twice more to win 4-0. It was still fun though and neat to soak up the atmosphere at Webley.

The following night we went into London to experience the unique restaurant Inamo. It was quite a cool, interactive environment as you could order your meal independently using a digital display on your table surface.  Service was relatively quick.  I was keen to try out some of the fish dishes- being pregnant I thought it would be worthwhile to see how that sat with me.  Unfortunately it seemed like their fish wasn’t fresh, so instead I tried an eel dish.  I’ve never had eel before and although it wasn’t memorably tasty, I wouldn’t be opposed to trying it again.  I picked a few other tastes off our friends’ plates- pork spare rib, duck, scallop and calamari.  Everything sat relatively well but I am not inclined to make a meal out of any of them.  Sweetcorn cakes with sweet chilli sauce all the way!

The following morning we went to an interactive sculptural exhibition at the Hayward Gallery, Southbank Centre- the Brazilian artist Ernesto Neto’s installation called “The Edges of the World”. Neto uses stretchy, transparent fabric, laser-cut wood and corten steel. The installations covered the whole floor and the three outdoor terraces. We walked through tunnels, climbed platforms to see other views, and took our shoes off to experience the texture of his world. It was a refreshing experience in art, as we could participate with the tactile work and feel truly immersed in this artist’s creation.

In early autumn, Dewi took me out to Bicester Village in Oxfordshire, which is a posh outlet shopping village. Our first stop was in Petit Bateau where I bought our first clothes for Faeryn.  Dewi also picked up a present for her friend.  We discovered some stunning scents- Ellenisia and Malabah- in Penhaligon’s Perfumerie, which has been around since 1870.

Bodra travelled to Springfield in Oregon, USA and Copenhagen in September.  I kept myself busy with study and preparing for Faeryn’s arrival.  We bought a travel system early on, then a cot and mattress.  I’ve been able to pick up loads of clothes and a few other pieces from the Reading Freegle website, a community specific mail-list which you join through Yahoo Groups.  You get emails describing different things people are offering for collection or things people want.  Some people have been so generous as to drop the items off to our home, we’ve been quite spoilt!

When Bodra returned from his business trip to Springfield, he and Paul went on a Spy experience in Milton Keynes. They learnt how to fight using everyday items as well as weapons like sniper rifles, and had a go at throwing an axe.

Bodra: The Spy Academy experience was Paul’s birthday present. It was an enjoyable day without ever being truly exciting. We spent a few hours working our way through a number of circuits. First up was gun drawing. We ran through quick draw techniques and stances, then finished with a quick draw competition which I won! We then worked our way through some unarmed combat and gadgets display. Then we got on the (air)gun firing. We quickly worked out where our strengths lay. Paul proved to be a pretty good sniper, while I don’t think I hit the target once. Close quarters combat seems to be where I excelled, although in the game of laser tag I was one of only 2 players to actually get eliminated (to be fair though I was responsible for eliminating the other).

I submitted my final assignment for my Open University course in early October and a few weeks ago received the result- hooray I passed! I’ve signed up to do two more courses, through a different facility though. Now I’m doing distance learning through the British School of Yoga, but they aren’t yoga courses! Instead I’ll be learning about Psychotherapy and Creative Writing. I can go at my own pace which I thought would be good except I’ve had the course materials since the end of October and haven’t started yet! But admittedly there’s been a lot going on here with the pregnancy and then the festive season.

I went for my last Ultrasound in early October, Bodra was able to go with me and it was quite an emotional experience.  Hearing Faeryn’s heart beat and seeing that she was growing as expected, we felt huge relief.  Faeryn had her legs crossed for a lot of the scan, but we were content to just watch her moving her arms and trying to puzzle out the various organs the sonographer showed us.  We had a trainee sonographer who was quite chatty and enthusiastic.  After a while her supervisor entered the room and asked us if we wanted to know the gender- Bodra was quick off the mark to confirm that we did and the trainee responded without any hesitation that we were having a girl.  The supervisor said she was 98% sure.  So, yay for pretty things and knowing her name already!

Bodra and I headed into London after the scan, sharing the sensation of having our feet nibbled upon with Kim and Ez, at Aqua Sheko- a fish spa.  The teeny Garra Rufa fish actually just suck on your skin which acts to buff away all the dead skin cells, so we had lovely soft feet after the treatment… which we then ruined by tramping around London trying to find dinner.  The Zilli Green and Korean we were after proved to be very popular that night, so we relented for our old faithful Hare Krsna fare at Govinda’s in Soho.